Anxiety

Look at them, they're just staring at me

Like come and watch the skinny kid

With a steadily declining mental health

And laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself

                                                                                   - Bo Burnham

Everpresent Beautiful Melancholia

"Grief is a hole you walk around in the daytime and at night you fall into it."
                                                                                              - Priscilla Denise Levertov

You Need To Feel (Credits : Dido)

And when we meet 
Which I'm sure we will 
All that was there 
Will be there still
I'll let it pass 
And hold my tongue
And you will think 
That I've moved on....

Gloomy Sunday- Reszo Seress/ My Words, Someone Else's Mouth

Sadly one Sunday I waited and waited

With flowers in my arms for the dream I'd created

I waited 'til dreams, like my heart, were all broken

The flowers were all dead and the words were unspoken

The grief that I knew was beyond all consoling

The beat of my heart was a bell that was tolling

Saddest of Sundays

Then came a Sunday when you came to find me

They bore me to church and I left you behind me

My eyes could not see one I wanted to love me

The earth and the flowers are forever above me

The bell tolled for me and the wind whispered, "Never!"

But you I have loved and I bless you forever

Last of all Sundays

The Organic Broadcast III

She had been his shield, his protector, his hiding place. Not from the world, it had already done all the damage it could.But from himself. Now the Vacuity echoed his forlorn cries for help, for her and made them resonate with his violence.

The Things Best Hidden II

People stare in wonder at my emotionless facade, in wonder at my perceived indifference towards the most extreme stimuli, in wonder as my pillars crumble around me. Ever wondered why the glass of water you took from my hands tasted salty?

The Unconditional I

If she were to ask me for anything, I would say yes blindly. For anything at all, I would never refuse. She asked for that one thing, I still said yes only this time I was blinded by tears.

Written Image I

He sat cross-legged on his favourite chair which had cushions lined at every possible angle reflecting the luxury he lived in. A white shirt slung across his torso with effortless elegance. He enjoyed the slight breeze that felt cooler than it really was, as it cajoled and relaxed his otherwise slightly damp, clenched self . Hunger jolted him out of his reverie, he stretched to the coffee table in front for the biscuits made of honey and golden warmth that melted and dripped all over his shirt in a single bite.He didn't care , for it might attract the flies who would give some company to him in this lonely, empty corner of the world that was called his Mind.

Written Image II

He bent over the basin, washing his hands with the clearest, coolest glacial water for a greater length of time than was necessary for he had an abundance of both. He begrudgingly turned off the flow for he liked the sensation, the tickle that the water created in the lined webbing between his fingers. Upon noticing a spherical drop that rested on the tip of his index finger he stopped and peered ever more closely at it till only he and the drop existed and still closer he crept until he stared directly at it's soul and the world through it. A warped,circular world he saw with no detail discernible, releasing the reason for the earth being round and that the earth had outpaced the tranquil, still drop, he wiped it off determined to get revenge for the broken dream it had shown him.

A Lack Of Progress

Alight
As i reach a seemingly random place
Philosopher's mind
where lies my niche

Season that etches into us, time
Blood,salt,sweat- drench and poison the self

Awaiting another time
when the walls crumble again
Each time weaker than the last
Of what use are doors and windows on the ground
Or in shorter towers than my own?

Humans

A fragile figurine.Ironically cherishing memories.

Nippon

A distant face sees
Half illuminated with moonbeams
Premonition
Of forces he won't believe

Morning, arrives
He's at peace
Unscathed from the events of the night

Forty minute drivedown
To the golden sands
Only in books he'd seen

And see he did
More than his fair share
Of tides and destruction

Amidst all the chaos
He stands
As the sun edged wave travels closer

Survives the impact
But the tears cause a flood
As he looks upon the once beautiful seaside
Filled with screaming and blood

As he looks upon the scene from up above
With moisture on his cheeks
He has but a singular thought in his mind
Damn
I've wasted another holiday of mine

In Remembrance

And yet rotates the wheel of time
I have two simple tales to tell
Using nature's basic elements
Fire and Wind
Putting things into perspective
For the fickle and the averse

It all happened but two days past
With two friends, her
And some drunken memories
A dance along the bonfire
Racing shadows and hearts in the glow
Sadly though the flames went awry
The firewater had spoken
The ensuing blaze wreaked much havoc
Incinerated brotherly love too

It was trial by fire
The third degrees proved too much
So here is the tale of the healing wind
To soothe the jilted souls

Of a tall buoyant gust of freedom
To whom problems were little wooden twigs
Twigs that broke their will
In just a gentle puff of smoke
Now the gust has burnt to the heavens
But taught us a lot on the way
Taught to forgive
Taught to forget
And to fill the holes in our hearts
For in a trifling moment
You may be left with none

People search for that breath of fresh air
I hope they create their own
And in that moment
Remember the languid wind who could have outrun us all
On the strength of those long legs
And still the wind burns brightly
And will for all eternity
Hear the subtle whispers
Hear the sad creaking of the leaves
Who miss the crushing weight upon them
And remember still
The fires need the wind to thrive
Only in the wind the inner fire survives

Tool Inspired

Through the aisles of darkness i wandered
With rumbling thoughts and the sound of silence
Chancing upon four friends
A glimpse into the past it seemed
A glimpse of sobriety
For I am eternally dependent on them
Watching space through their views
As an elephant blocks my own
The world tells me there is still a flaw
Challenging my beliefs and geopiety
And still I soldier on
Trying to break the roof
Built through my own words
Beckoning others to see my passion
Feel the sounds inside
And still i try
Everlasting struggle
To incorporate the spiral in humble words
So we may follow our will and wind
And go where no one's been

A Soldier's Life

She stops me going to the fight
Deluded pleas and shrewd screams
Placed in the winds to hear
Like thorns in a rosebush

But have to go I
For my field of blood awaits
Life just flashes by my eyes

Grams sprayed with scent intoxicate
Makes me see you hallucinate
Weighs my hand on the field of battle
Gentle regret just flows in vain

Men and god akin
The game will never finish
The silver fox carrying two boxes
Lays death on the spoon

And hence will man turn to ashes
To the belief that he will rise again
But what use is this forgetfulness
All that is left are footprints on the ocean floor

Simplistic Analysis of Time

To realize the value of a decade
Listen to the rambling of an old man
Of times that last and women past
With a glint and tearful eye

To the labouring of a prospective mother
In the year of fragile beauty
Who in every breath hopes her efforts
will come to fruition at the end

Step into the well worn shoes of a journalist
To count the passing day
In a hurry to beat the deadline
And tell people of times astray

Ask that race car driver
Who lost the faith of his peers
By a meagre second

But in doing so we spurn the gift of today
To fear the past and the future too
Losing the sound of our silent thoughts
In this race to infinity 

Of Women and Men

And yet those tresses distract me
Pulling my eyes to the silhouette they enclose
Beauty undefinable
An angelic cut of human bonds
Fuck those pretty eyes I say
that leave a man blood strewn in more ways than one
With two twin mounds
That make snowy liquids with their warm peaks
While one is the burning proof of passion
The other a nourishing conclusion

And yet the gentle melodies ring in my head
Of sweat and rhythmic screaming
Is it imagination or
The only absolute truth
Fuck those pretty eyes I say
That make men wish away their years
With a wet trail of betrayal
But such is the irony of life that
A single hole holds the key
For the scourge of men
And the continuum of humanity

Reactions

Alas it was not to be
God a genius
Flow of time a necessity
For the innermost sanctum of the mind
Harbours grudges of farbehind
Layers of incantations leave you spellbound
Only to know that charms can't fake inspirational reality
For humans are what humans will be
History of millenia repeated thrice over
Don't ask what a person I am
Emotion-driven fickleness at it's peak
And so ends the tale in a day
But i ask you don't shadows originate because of sunlight?